I did not just wake up one day and decide to pursue my personal passion to full-time coach and help others connect to their inner wisdom. It took a crisis to help me make an "exodus" so to speak.
I was a technology director in a global financial services company in Seattle. In May that year, my sister was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer, in November I unexpectedly lost my job in a management restructure, and one day later my mother died after a 12 year battle with Alzheimer's Disease.
Yes, I was grieving. I felt incapacitated by it. It was a lot to handle.
I had had family crises before, and I figured this would be no different. I would take some time off from business as usual, then get "back to work," find my next technology gig, and keep on going.
It did not work.
A month went by, then two, then six. I was embarrassed, then ashamed of my inability to overcome my emotions. A concerned colleague kept calling and I found myself unable to even bring myself to meet her for coffee. It was like I had fallen though a missing plank in the pier, was in deep water, with no ladder. I felt like I was just drifting, treading water, flowing with the current, unable to get back to shore. After a while, that become the problem - my inner skeptic was delighted to hold my own inaction and sense of emotional paralysis in front of me daily as proof of what SHE would call my "personal incompetence."
It was a pivotal period. I came to recognize the conspiracy of my inner wisdom and the Divine, inviting me to transform, to allow something completely new to arise from my being in terms of focus and vocation. It was amazing to say "yes" to that invitation. I'd invite you to ask yourself if that is what is happening for you.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, here are some suggestions for giving yourself the permission to hear the message that grief may hold for you.
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